I'm sitting in the library, slightly drunk, and resisting the strong urge to say something to my newly arrived cubicle neighbor, who, simply put, is a smelly smelly man with a body odor that if further concentrated would have a 30 second lethal exposure and could be deployed by the military as a toxic nerve agent.  I don't understand people who commit such blatant life-faux paus....  You shower before you leave home, and if that's insufficient, you shower twice and/or you wear deodorant. 

I want to start carrying a book of tickets and hand them out as demerits in life on a situational basis.  Hey pal, here's your ticket, what did you do?  Well how about broad-spectrum olfactory offense against the general public....    You, you broke the keg tap?  Ticket! Class III communal alcohol-offense.  Yo, you the one that complained to the professor about how the quizes are too easy due to their similarity to the ones from last year??  Here's your ticket, Maximum Level douchebaggery.

But alas, just wishful thinking.  I think I'll just take off my shoes and put my feet up near the smelly one, dose of his own medicine!  Ha!  Oh wait, I'm from California, and therefor wearing Rainbows.... .... fuck!

email me