There are two questions you should ask of someone who is running for class president.  In fact, 2 questions that you need to ask of anyone that's running for anything.  1)  Do you suck at life?  And 2)  What the hell are you going to do for me?

Now, from personal experience, it seems that most of the speeches at these kind of things go something like this: the speaker comes up and reads from a sheet of paper all the things he has done and all the past positions they’ve held and all the great personality traits they possess- they’re friendly, diligent, pays close attention to detail, plays well with others, gorgeous, handsome, all around magnificent, … humble… and so forth.  I dunno, I don’t really like those speeches because I never could care less whether somebody once organized a bakesale for their scouts troupe or whether they were on the ASB council or whether they were president at their prior school.  All I am concerned about is, if you’re going to represent me and do stuff on my behalf, please do not suck at life.  So I guess I stand before you and solemnly swear, I, Jerry Yu, have never been indicted or convicted of sucking at life.  And I will work hard to keep it that way.

Second question, what will I do for you? I will give you 2 things that I will work on that will make your life in dental school a bit easier.

1)      A fridge/microwave somewhere, anywhere! I mean, paying airport prices for food around here just won’t cut it day in day out.  Sometimes, when those financial aid checks are late, I want to be able to bring my lunch and have a place to put it, or be able to whip out a box of easy mac and heat it up in a microwave.

<apparently they do have a microwave... I didn't know at the time>

2)      NYU bulletin board/forums.  I talked about this in my email, and I can’t believe our school doesn’t have one!   I mean, we don’t have a quick and efficient way of asking, hey, we need a third roommate, or I need a place to stay, to get this apartment with, or hey anyone selling their used anatomy flash cards or even, hey, I’m going to the pub to watch the Bills game tomorrow, anyone wanna come?  Also, such a forum would allow us to better stay connected, esp. for us people who don’t live in the dorms.  Plus, it will let us filter out the crucial class-related emails.  I don’t know about you, but I live in fear of clicking on that “Get new mail” button because I know there is the cyber-equivalent of 17 metric tons of unread messages in my inbox.

Thank you for your time, I hope I gave you a glimpse of the things I’d work on to so that your lives will be made just a little easier, enjoy the pizzas, and vote for Jerry, because he doesn’t suck at life.