I have a final tomorrow morning at 8,
which means that I have thoroughly read all the ESPN
NFL articles, every link under Yahoo! news, and even ventured into
its 'World Sports' section, did you know that according to Graeme Smith
captain of the South African Cricket team the mental psych-out will be
crucial for a possible upset in the upcoming match against Australia?
Also, I read through a lot of
random as well as non-random people's columns/webpages/journals/blogs
and have noticed that there are certain types of posts that everyone
invariably makes... so now,
in the spirit of procrastination, I bring these to you:
1) Responses to reader emails
Often seen in journals/columns dealing with sports or politics, these posts will proceed to thank the fan mailers and defend/make fun of the hater mailers. Although ostensibly to "acknowledge the readers", it really stems from the author being too much of a lazy fuck to make a full-length post, or if he/she is a syndicated columnist, from lacking enough legitimate content that week to meet the minimum words requirement. Too bad widening the margins, changing the font to courier size 12.5, and tacking on some random bullshit paragraph on "potential socio-economic ramifications" doesn't work in the real world huh?
2) Joke copied from an external source
Yeah the original is funny, but c'mon, make a bit more effort next time instead of just directly copy-pasting an email forward in circulation since the advent of the internet yeah? Trust us, we've already seen it.
> You're so damn lazy that you couldn't
> even bother to delete the ">"
> that Outlook Express sticks onto
> before every line??
3) "Pictures from last night"
This post will entail a whole batch of pictures arranged in some haphazard vertical fashion, and often labeled headers such as "ooooooh my god was soooo drunk!" or "these pics don't do justice to how Crrrraaazy the place got!" or "check how off da hooook this shiet was!"
You're a lazy fuck, the least you could've done is write a few clever captions. But alas I forgive you, because occasionally some of the pictures involve boobs.
4) Lyrical Excerpts
These will usually come from some touchy feely song about oh I don't know finding a fellow angst-driven, depth of human pathos, Vegan soul-mate by someone like Britney Spears' younger sister: whats-her-name-with-the-dark hair. Congratulations, you just confirmed my suspicion that you're a girl who probably spent last Valentine's day eating ice cream and writting shitty poetry.
5) A newspaper article or opinion piece.
Inexcusably lazy. I don't need to hear your "expert" analyses of anything. Anyone who does this earns an instant life-citation as described earlier.
Oh yeah, speaking of which, here's an interesting gem I found earlier while reading about the impending MTA strike in NYC....
I guess make your heli-reservations early.
1) Responses to reader emails
Often seen in journals/columns dealing with sports or politics, these posts will proceed to thank the fan mailers and defend/make fun of the hater mailers. Although ostensibly to "acknowledge the readers", it really stems from the author being too much of a lazy fuck to make a full-length post, or if he/she is a syndicated columnist, from lacking enough legitimate content that week to meet the minimum words requirement. Too bad widening the margins, changing the font to courier size 12.5, and tacking on some random bullshit paragraph on "potential socio-economic ramifications" doesn't work in the real world huh?
2) Joke copied from an external source
Yeah the original is funny, but c'mon, make a bit more effort next time instead of just directly copy-pasting an email forward in circulation since the advent of the internet yeah? Trust us, we've already seen it.
> You're so damn lazy that you couldn't
> even bother to delete the ">"
> that Outlook Express sticks onto
> before every line??
3) "Pictures from last night"
This post will entail a whole batch of pictures arranged in some haphazard vertical fashion, and often labeled headers such as "ooooooh my god was soooo drunk!" or "these pics don't do justice to how Crrrraaazy the place got!" or "check how off da hooook this shiet was!"
You're a lazy fuck, the least you could've done is write a few clever captions. But alas I forgive you, because occasionally some of the pictures involve boobs.
4) Lyrical Excerpts
These will usually come from some touchy feely song about oh I don't know finding a fellow angst-driven, depth of human pathos, Vegan soul-mate by someone like Britney Spears' younger sister: whats-her-name-with-the-dark hair. Congratulations, you just confirmed my suspicion that you're a girl who probably spent last Valentine's day eating ice cream and writting shitty poetry.
5) A newspaper article or opinion piece.
Inexcusably lazy. I don't need to hear your "expert" analyses of anything. Anyone who does this earns an instant life-citation as described earlier.
Oh yeah, speaking of which, here's an interesting gem I found earlier while reading about the impending MTA strike in NYC....
I guess make your heli-reservations early.