1.  Single Single

You're single, 70% horny 30% lonely (this ratio is reversed for girls... though if you're a girl and that's not the case, then you should call me), and have included in your "looking for" area:
   
        Dating
        A Relationship
        Random play
        Whatever I can get

2.   Single, repeated flirtings

So now you've got a person you've flirted with, maybe some late night burrito run where you pretend to pay attention as he/she gushes on about how they've got soooo many finals next week.  You still the same mix of horny-lonely, but now in order to appear less of an undignified slut, the Whatever I can get box is unchecked....  oh and yes, she/he already has stalked your profile.

3.   Dating sans sex.

You've managed to spend some time (sober to boot!) together.  He says that you're a "cool chick", he means "not fat".  She says you're "nice and an interesting guy", she means "I haven't stumbled across your stash of Japanese porn yet".  The guy will remove his Single status but leave the looking for Random play up because he really really wanted to have ended that last date with a hand up your shirt.  The girl, after much deliberation, will attempt to be sly and mysterious and remove the "status" and "looking for" sections all together.

4.   Dating with sex.

Full fucking blown "going out".  You're both now In a Relationship, though you both are still rational enough to realize that filling out the "with whom" box and clicking on [Request Confirmation] is really really lame.

5.  Dating with sex and actually some genuine feelings for each other

You have now coupled to each other's profiles via the "In a Relationship with" link because you now think it's "cute".  Your facebook relationship are now consummated.  Your lameness factor shot through the roof.

6.  "Together"

You do gross things like write touchy feely messages on each other's walls.  You both annoy the hell out of everyone around you.  Your level of lameness is only rivaled by a Dave Coulier and John Stamos "jam-band".


Damn, this Facebook habit of mine is really spiraling out of control.  Please initiate intervention.