Boating Swirlyness

So every year our school throws a booze cruise party to welcome the new freshmen both domestic and foreign. It was on a 3 decked boat that went down the East River and around a giant statue of some broad. I think it was modeled after some really famous Miss. America winner cause she was raising a torch and had a crown on her head.

There was extensive pre-partying in the dorms, which resulted in a visit from a RA and a write-up. Schools need to stop giving write-ups really ominous names like "Judicial Review" and etc, no one is buying their attempts of imparting a sense of intimidation and gravitas; they should just call them what they really are: "a slip of paper telling you that you'll be receiving a letter with a time frame in which you must go to the housing office and watch a video on (circle) respect / ethics / alcohol / drug-abuse". C'mon, let's be honest, the tools-for-life directors at the housing office and the emotional-issues filled RAs who services their cocks only get serious if you, oh I dunno, put a book in a study lounge microwave that started a fire which resulted in a nice little chat with fire-marshals... and who's retarded enough to do something like that?

The cruise itself was excellent, and a great revealer of which students had been practicing binge drinking and partying in their undergrads. The vomit in the men's bathroom and the awkward-looking people sitting off to the sides revealed that alas, some are more versed than others. Speaking of vomiting, why was there puke in the bathroom? Why would anyone go below deck in a moving boat, all the while being sloshed around, and then try to aim into a bowl? Why not just lean over the side of the boat and heave? I did my part to promote the latter by giving the bathroom pukers looks of disdain and disgust while granting the side-of-boat pukers a huzzah and "PUKE AND RALLY!" cry. Alas, I still had to avoid the bathroom for the night and wipe down my shoes.

The problem with making this event a joint one with the international students (who are already practicing dentists in their own country and have passed part of the US boards), is that you'll go drunkenly up to a group of revelers, start talking, and be spoken back to with a stream of words sounding like "bei bei bei bei bei apu vishnu ganesh kumar... Apu".....

The other problem with making this event international is that you'll run into somebody that looks familiar, and then share with him the anecdote above in an effort to be clever, only to be met back with "please do not make fun of my language, thank you come again."

What makes me sad is that my fellow colleagues from the I or K states probably have no idea what I'm talking about.

Difference between CA and NY? That flock of skimpy blondes aren't sorority girls from the valley, but are Eastern Europeans from Eastern Europe. The jury is still out on which group is hotter and which group speaks in less annoying chitters when they get excited.